The Phoney from MARS

Recently someone hit me hard with this questionWhere do you see yourself in the next five years?“. For a science student with a messed up past who thinks Batman also  had a bad past but not H.G.Wells (He has the time machine), I daydreamed. The following is how I could envision myself as honest and phoney it could be-


Dear Dobby

It’s mission day 51 and you wouldn’t believe what all just happened. In fact the chances of you believing what I’m goanna tell is similar to that of me reaching back earth again alive, so I have decided to take my chances. You know the feeling of having the hopes of billions of people of a planet on the only person in another planet. First it was on Elon all these years and now since people have seen me alive on Mars it’s been weighing on me since the last 50 days. Being on cloud nine helped me in all my explorations till date. But today was different.

So as usual I was on my regular expedition but it was in the sector 78. It’s one of the areas of this mysterious Red planet that remained mystery till date, for no previous rovers or satellites have any data of it. So in the usual expedition course, I came across piles and piles of rumbles at this particular site. It was all partly covered in dust and I went through all the remains. As I kept moving there were more than just debris, there were intact parts of something huge everywhere. It was definitely from earth and then it clicked me- it must the remains of a spaceship from the SNASA mission. It’s Secret NASA. There’s no basis to rule out this speculation because people are not supposed to talk about these kind of things. That’s the thing with government space agencies, because for them all matters are confidential, but some are more confidential than others. I then made a mental note to call the NASA first thing when I return to my base. I even had my opening line ready “Houston, we have your secret”.

Then I saw the most shocking thing, there were remains of a space suit. Yes it means I’m not the first human on Mars. I then stopped and thought, it can also just be a suit of a monkey or a dog. So technically I still had my hopes and I tried to calm down, but then I saw a red flag and I was like “How the hell did the Chinese make it before us?”. I was so freaked and checked the database to see the info of all the Chinese space missions. And as I went through the images it struck me hard, as the red flag didn’t match the China’s flag. If Elon Musk gets to know that my general knowledge is bad then I’m so goanna be out of SpaceX. And then it struck me really hard that what I came across was a freaking USSR flag. The Soviet Union. The Russians were here before.

A quick scan of the surroundings indicated that it was clearly more than forty tons of rumbles. It made sense as NASA’s space shuttle only had an upper limit of twenty eight tonnes in capacity. This must be the Russia’s powerful BURAN launcher. According to the records it was developed in 1988 by USSR and was capable of ninety five tonnes tops of play load. It does make sense now. Imagine Russia developed this technology back in 1980s while the American were busy producing Star Wars movies and making money of it.  What a contrasting inroads into space technology history of today’s rivals.

I truly wish NASA were not hit by the recent budget cuts, thanks to the joke American people chose. Trump has literally made walls in Space over NASA’s capabilities. I can’t imagine the mixed feeling Americans are going to feel as their pride is going to be soon short-lived by news of Russian supremacy once again. I really wish the government wasn’t in such a bad budget situation. Because I could really get government funding for research and development of a Light-Saber (and maybe even a defence contract for production in future), now that people can be convinced Star Wars is going to be a thing. Elon would be really proud of me and we can revive America again with its nerds. This can also supposedly be my backup plan in case you know if I get unemployed.

As my search for surprises went on and hours later I found what seemed to be my fear and dasher of my pride, a somewhat remains of a human body. Seems like the astronaut ran out of supplies. The Roscosmos (Russian space agency) must have failed to look at the long term implications of their space ships and mission, when they sneaked one towards Mars while they convinced the world of so many failures. The wise men always said that in the long run we all are goanna be dead. But back then all I could think was how it all could go wrong for me. Maybe that might be me very soon.

What went wrong for the Russians?……They must have made some blunder?……What is it that they don’t want to admit?……What’s the fault they made?  -These will be the line of thoughts of any person preparing for their next move in this space race. They will fail to connect all the dots looking at the past.

That moment I could see the light while going through the dark past. All the past days of pride didn’t matter anymore for I could connect the dots looking back deep down in history. What’s the horrifying reason that they didn’t say anything about it? Maybe they lost contact with him long before he landed on Mars.  Maybe the Roscosmos didn’t have enough money to rescue their cosmonaut (I bet the guy’s name must have been Matteo Damonov, and also Andy Wier had some friend from the Soviet space program long before his book got a movie contract). The USSR flag, Soviets always trumping the Americans in Space technology with achievements, BURAN space launcher technology (1988), collapse of USSR (1991). Countries fighting out to colonise Mars while overlooking the plight of people on Earth for whom they are supposedly doing all this for. Technological strides achieved at the expense of many, for everything has a cost. In the history filled with innumerable facts and lies, should I be contributing mine?

By the way Dobby, I believe I have got the best idea for my first fiction book. It’s going to be about the collapse of the Soviet Union by specifically highlighting how broke they were to rescue their own astronaut who was struck in Mars. It’s definitely going to be a best-seller in America and also in some parts of Europe. By the way I do know that writing a personal diary and that too calling it Dobby in the year 2022 ain’t cool but then you got to accept the fact that I am the best writer you can find on the planet.

Ben_Joe                                                                                                                     SpaceX_Falcon9_Base                                                                                                          Its_MARS_Baby!