Recently, I : Deadpan edition

  • Recently, I wanted to join the debating team, but then someone talked me out of it.
  • That guy went on to  be the joint secretary of debsoc.
  • If I have a duel with him, I would let him have my pen because pen is mightier than a sword.

 

  • Recently, I had applied to the editorial of the college magazine.
  • You know, you can’t please all the people all the time- & that day all these people were at my interview for magazine recruitment

 

  • Recently, I settled for tennis in the hopes of breaking into the team one day.
  • My motivation read like- loosing a tennis match isn’t failure, it’s research.
  • Apparently no one wants me to stop my research.
  • I was so involved that I should be getting the government funding.
  • I won the bronze medal in one of the tournaments.
  • Only two other players showed up.
  • I wasn’t depressed about it because, according to my research the organizers couldn’t afford more than one gold medal.

 

  • Recently, I visited a museum.
  • It had heads and arms from statutes that are in other museums. 
  • It’s the only place where you can find so many decapitated cool looking heads.
  • I wonder whether these museums had battles and for settlement partitioned all the full bodied assets. 

 

  • Recently, I went on a date with a girl.
  • She handed a picture of hers to me, and said ” Here’s a picture of me when I was younger”
  • I said every picture of you is when you were younger.
  • She somehow burnt her tongue over the espresso and still went on talking the whole evening.
  • I got dumped later.
  • Probably for not buying her ice-cream in the winter.
  • As a gentleman I didn’t kiss and tell either.

 

  • Recently, I went to CCD…..alone.
  • I had an amazing experience.
  • I saw a sign that said “HELP WANTED”, there was this another sing above that said “SELF SERVICE”
  • So I hired Myself.
  • Then I made myself the boss.
  • I gave myself a raise.
  • I paid myself.
  • Then I quit.