Recently, I : Deadpan edition

  • Recently, I wanted to join the debating team, but then someone talked me out of it.
  • That guy went on to  be the joint secretary of debsoc.
  • If I have a duel with him, I would let him have my pen because pen is mightier than a sword.


  • Recently, I had applied to the editorial of the college magazine.
  • You know, you can’t please all the people all the time- & that day all these people were at my interview for magazine recruitment


  • Recently, I settled for tennis in the hopes of breaking into the team one day.
  • My motivation read like- loosing a tennis match isn’t failure, it’s research.
  • Apparently no one wants me to stop my research.
  • I was so involved that I should be getting the government funding.
  • I won the bronze medal in one of the tournaments.
  • Only two other players showed up.
  • I wasn’t depressed about it because, according to my research the organizers couldn’t afford more than one gold medal.


  • Recently, I visited a museum.
  • It had heads and arms from statutes that are in other museums. 
  • It’s the only place where you can find so many decapitated cool looking heads.
  • I wonder whether these museums had battles and for settlement partitioned all the full bodied assets. 


  • Recently, I went on a date with a girl.
  • She handed a picture of hers to me, and said ” Here’s a picture of me when I was younger”
  • I said every picture of you is when you were younger.
  • She somehow burnt her tongue over the espresso and still went on talking the whole evening.
  • I got dumped later.
  • Probably for not buying her ice-cream in the winter.
  • As a gentleman I didn’t kiss and tell either.


  • Recently, I went to CCD…..alone.
  • I had an amazing experience.
  • I saw a sign that said “HELP WANTED”, there was this another sing above that said “SELF SERVICE”
  • So I hired Myself.
  • Then I made myself the boss.
  • I gave myself a raise.
  • I paid myself.
  • Then I quit.

#3 The Shameless First


“Hey man, are you all right? …Get up!… Here, grab my hand.”


Magz: It doesn’t make sense for all these shops to be closed on a freaking Wednesday.

Jan: Neither to me. I’m sure there’s a sports store along the coming right lane.

Magz: Hope this one has open shutters awaiting us.

Jan: Your hope and my surety should do the purpose of course with some Wednesday luck.

Magz: Yup.

Jan: So you really wanna surprise Davi on his birthday? He has an uncrackable shell over the imaginary region enclosing his pleasant emotions.

Magz: Not when he gets his special Manchester United tee for surprise.

Jan:  Oh boy! What a choice to turn the Blues lad red.

Magz:  So this is the lane to turn towards right?

Jan: Yeah. This one, by the way would you like to go for…

Magz: Watch out for that open gutter!

Jan: a coffee…What?Where?…..SHIT!

Magz: Damn. Sorry, for the late heads up.

Jan: Didn’t knew I could pilot the landing from impulse.

Magz: Hey man, are you all right?…. Get up!…. Here, grab my hand.


Jan: I am ‘fine’ fine. Damn these partly open gutters of surprises.

Magz: Gutters what?

Jan: Wait, why we are at the library steps. Why are these steps wet? Oh!


Dear Diary,

this is as far as I could remember my conversation with Magz Crown because after a point it makes sense to not to. The point that succeeded the library gardener’s err amidst the man made flora leading to the slip of my ‘work in progress’ pride. Some falls and specific walks are not to remember.

The only lesson I learnt and worth remembering that day was that first experiences are important because they help you to discover your inner self, ever ready to pop out and also what not to do and what to be pretending to do the second time. Also I guess the third time with supported data from the second time can help in determining with proof whether a person is a fool or even worse dumb.

And as a practical consequence, I should stop shamelessly  dreaming of how to ask out a chick for a date that too during our first meeting, just because so far it had exceeded enough time to be serene about not needing to check the phone for notifications. Neither did she……….

With excitement

Jan Boey