Public buses & folks on footboard -Stand Up Comedy

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is the script of a standup routine which I performed at my first open mic. Despite there being numerous jokes and punchlines and things that may or may not make sense, the only laughs I got was for the fact that I was telling my audience (also read friends) about my life. I guess, I need to look for new friends and also as a consequence of being broke, I am gonna blog the whole thing down. Reading Time: 4min (It’s faster than the 2min claims by maggi)

So how many of you have traveled by crowded public buses? I’m talking about really crowded buses that comes to your mind when referring to DTC, BMTC…..the criteria being that at least a dozen dudes be seen hanging around the foot-board zone.

Now no matter how much you despise them because in reality you are clueless about your own life and have nothing else to be prouder about than judging them, because at that moment they are the real heroes. They have an alert vision and mission in their lives. You don’t. They practice day in and day out…and one day you see a battalion of them in the Republic day parade doing ballet on motor bikes.

They are the ones who will make it to the army. You have been following the wrong Delhi Daredevils all this time.

Now don’t be confused when I say not all the footboarders are good. Army has high standards and so are their rejection rates. You know what I mean. Yeah, so vast majority of them are morons.

During one of my public bus rides I spotted one footboard hanging dude and he became mean when I told him about there being space inside the bus. He’s a moron.

This dude was going all over the footboard as if it’s an Olympic sport. And as I was observing him closely, he kept on changing the positions in weird ways as if he was trying to get media attention and then even government funding.

He was literally going by the motto “it’s a matter of life and death” you know. This moron gave the the conductor a stupid guilt-inducing stare as if because of people like him India doesn’t win medals at the Olympics.

Now after a few many stops, there were unoccupied seats and this moron is still hanging there with more than half of his body outside. He was like on the constant look out for the road less traveled or something and surely he’s very excited to be the first one to jump and run to it.

That’s it people, thank you for being such a nice audience, and yeah you all are nice because most of the morons couldn’t make it here after taking the ticket to glory on the highway to hell.