Men without Signals- monologue

I don’t get the signal from women. I have no clue what they are thinking. I admit it. Men are obvious on the other hand. Women know what men want. Men know what men want. What do we want? We want women. How to get them? Oh we don’t know about that. The next step after that, we have no idea.

Women might wonder what goes on in men’s heads. I will tell you. Nothing. If you want to know why then it’s probably like ‘We want women, that’s it and nothing else runs in our heads’. We men don’t think….. I will tell you how. But it’s amazing that we still get women. Like ever wonder how every woman you meet “Have a boyfriend”?

Let me tell you a bit about our brotherhood. “Where ever women are”?  we have a man working on that situation right this moment. Now he may not be our best guy, Ok. Infact one of our guy’s tinder profile says “Although on the downside I am delusional, but on the plus side I am Batman.” BAM! That’s the best idea the last of his brain cells could come up with. It’s just that we have a lot of areas to cover. But someone from our team is on the scene.

Now you really want to know how despite being obvious and clueless our men make the cut. Let me take the example of our delusional batman. Our man gets a tinder match with a woman and they soon text it off to a start. After initial exchange of numbers and in one of the calls,  the woman goes like “So tell me what’s the secret behind you being so cool in life”, to which our man replies “ I enjoy carelessly during the day like Bruce Wayne and during the night I am the evil-fighting, justice seeking, responsible caped crusader”. And the amazed woman goes likeso tell me batman, what cool gadgets do you own?. “I have a laptop, a smartphone…..no two actually my old one still works if needed, and a kindle”. The woman goes “Oh”  and our man interrupts “ Also I have an earphone” to which the woman replies “Yeah, right. That’s cool too.

See this is our delusional batman flirting on the scene and that’s what I have been talking about so far. So the woman is obviously no longer delusional like our guy, and the conversation continues. Woman goes like “Since you are the best detective in the world, and as a test why don’t you do something for me?”, “I’m listening” says our guy and the woman goes like “Can you find me the phone number of Zac Efron?”.

Now at this point one needn’t be a millionaire or know even a single form of martial arts to realize that this is the signal that there is a BATSIGNAL somewhere wanting this guy off the scene immediately.

But anyway our man asks her “Does he know where the Joker is?” and the woman blurts out  “Whaaat?… Noo!” and Batman being Batman hangs up the phone.

See even Batman doesn’t get the signal.

handwriting